‘I didn’t want to fight for the militias that murdered my father’
Mokhtar was born and raised in Darfur, a region in Sudan where armed militias and the Sudanese army have long been engaged in brutal violence. As a child, Mokhtar often had to flee the fighting and live in uncertain circumstances. Then, one doomed day, the militias killed his father. ‘My father refused to hand over the money he earned from selling our oranges’, he recalls with tears in his eyes.
Mokhtar was only 16 when his father was murdered. He was still going to school while working as an auto mechanic too. ‘The militias recruit young people in Darfur’, Mokhtar explains, ‘and I was pressured to join too. I had to flee my country to avoid fighting for the militias that murdered my father.’
Tortured in Libya
Mokhtar first fled from Sudan to Libya, where a smuggler left him alone in the desert for two days with no food or water. He walked for days until he reached Libya. There, he headed north, walking and hitchhiking.
Together with dozens of other refugees, Mokhtar tried twice to travel to Italy by boat. Those attempts failed. He was arrested by the Libyan coast guard, tortured by security services, and put in detention. To get released, he needed to pay€500; had he not paid, he would probably still be in detention today.
On the way to Morocco
After Mokhtar’s release from prison, he took a friend’s advice to travel towards Ceuta, a Spanish enclave in Morocco. Many people try to reach this Spanish territory so they can seek asylum in Europe, but the journey is extremely dangerous. To reach Morocco, Mokhtar first had to cross Algeria and sneak across the border. The Algerian and Moroccan border guards are notorious: there are many stories going around of torture and deportations.
Mokhtar experienced this firsthand. The first time he tried to cross the border, Moroccan border guards caught him and sent him back to Algeria. There, he was tortured and put on a pickup truck for deportation to Niger. Mokhtar managed to jump off the truck in the middle of the desert. ‘After two days of walking through the desert, I finally saw lights coming from a populated area.’ Mokhtar then made a second attempt, which barely succeeded. ‘The Algerian border guards came so close and unleashed dogs on us. It’s a miracle that I made it’, Mokhtar recalls.
The border at Ceuta
Once in Morocco, Mokhtar tried to travel as quickly as possible to the Spanish enclave of Ceuta, as there was virtually no possibility of applying for protection in Morocco. The first time Mokhtar climbed the border fence at Ceuta, he was immediately caught by Spanish border guards. ‘I wasn’t allowed to apply for asylum and was immediately sent back to Morocco. I was taken to a village 600 kilometres away, and all my belongings were seized.’
On his fourth attempt, he managed to enter Ceuta. ‘I waited for hours near the border fence to make sure the Spanish border guards wouldn’t see me’, Mokhtar explains.
Feeling guilty
Mokhtar has been staying at the reception centre in the enclave for the past six months. He is learning Spanish there while waiting to be transferred to the Spanish mainland. The scars and wounds caused by torture and the barbed wire of the border fences are visible on his body. But Mokhtar’s biggest concern is his family, who still live in dire and dangerous conditions in Darfur. ‘I went through many painful experiences during my journey’, he says, ‘but the most painful thing was having to leave my mother, brothers, and sisters behind in Darfur. I feel guilty about that every day.’
Sometimes Mokhtar dreams of going to university and becoming a lawyer so he can fight for the rights of refugees. But for now, his future is uncertain; first he must go through the Spanish asylum procedure.
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